mental diarrhoea

man! so this is really me blogging..have always been techno (tech-no!), always thot tt pple who thrive on the online world were deluded.! hahaz..so now im joining the ranks of the tacky techy folks!! heh heh..u noe i was jus tinkin how come some peeps really are so sociable, whilst im socially inept. my best fren sabai was jus askin me to meet new pple coz she was tinking of introducing some new frens..yep and so i happily agreed to..and so happily backed out on the same day itself coz i've got cold feet. seriously, im jus in awe at how pathetic tt was. so now, im tryin to move slowly slowly very slowly outta my small little comfort world.

actually sometimes u wonder how much of a person u really do noe. i mean ive come to this conclusion not to look so deeply into pple. juz go in wit an open mind. ya..easier said then done. especially when pple get into this emotional-share-ur-feelins- mode, sheesh, it kinda freaks me out. ya..actually it happened once. and the worst thing is couldn't exactly escape frm the situation. it really constipated me down to the bones. aniwaes, rem giving some lame description of myself, skirting some things here and there. fidgit abit, smile, shrug. so after tt was pretty grossed out with myself. i mean itz like lying u noe. coz i wasn't exactly telling the truth, but tryin to smoke some answers. hmm..

i guess emotional attachment is something i yearn for yet something i fear. coz itz like opening urself up? there's a certain insecurity bout tt. who noes? may kena snubbed in the process. hmmm...was juz reading an article..infatuation is being "in love wit the idea of love", it doesn't lasts long, coz basically u are merely liking ur own rose tinted perception of who u want ur ideal partner to be..so dam true..okie next, puppy love, again an extention of infatuation but the liking is usually at a physical or mental lvl. yep, love is where two imperfect persons coming togther to accept each other and to establish common goals. oops..i never knew wat the last one was. itz so amazing when u see an old couple holding hands. sweet.

always said to my mum tt she can perish up the thot of having grandchildren frm my side, & wait for my bro. or if not, i'll probably get divorced along the way, & get entangled in some wham-bam child-wrestling court case. eventually lose all my money, my virtual child, and my virtual hubby, yes, to this youngER nubile bitch. and i'll squat in a nunnery start knitting, and start my bitch-fitching about how trashy & bastardy all men are with my fellow sad bitches. finally i'll die on a bitching high with my mouth twisted sideways. then she will have tis scrunched up expression on her face. like total bewilderment. then i'll be like never mind..& then it will end there. okie, tt sounded a tad of a drama mama. im sorry, im frm arts, arty-farty peeps are SUPPOSED to have frivolous nonsensical, over the top thots, & then when they get a lil kuku they start waxing lyrical bout shakespeare?! uh-uh sciency folks, it aint so!! oh ya, but i dun have the habit of farting aniwaes. no worries, tt can be cultivated (yucks), & u can be the first to blissfully savour the deEeElightful aromaTIC stench of it all..ahh..fantabulouz..

mebbe i haven met de ONE yet.

well,always been toying with the "in love wit the idea of love". which eventually kinda equates to likin a virtual image & i tink its pretty warped. haizz..i could verbal diarhoea on this topic for the longest time, bore ur pants off, or constipate u as well. but again..there;s no end to tis.