MENsus

okie today woke up feelin crap. so crappy i prob woke up walking sideways. my mum found out tt my mensus was irregular, coz i open my fat flopping mouth & i told her. & de moment it came out i felt like smacking myself. so dere, scooted off to this chinese sinseh, start askin me how long has it been irregular. seriously! wat's the big fuss? u get to save a few pads, no pms-ing for a few mths & then makes life a lil more exciting not knowing when ur next mensus will come rite?! & i was in tis fucked up pissy mood, black face. feelin so happy i could jolly well go stick my tongue in the fan. the chinese sinseh place smelt like some i dun even noe how to describe..aniwaes it stinks like monkey crap.

so now the best part. after enduring all the nagging hell frm my mum abt why so-long-never-come-still-din-tell-her, finally got to see the sinseh. i mean, nv knew tt irregular mensus was smthg u nd to tell. ast time my mum dragged me into this lingerie shop to buy u-noe-wat. and then my dad was behind, and then de sales assistant was like..ermm..size?? my mum was like..SmALLEsT!! WAT!!! then im like no mummy, NO! im a D, Dynamite..(explode in ur face) or so i say.( shrug and wave in a prissy manner) my mum hahaz! juz hands down amazed with her. oh well, i always go straight into defensive mode when she mentions tis.mum was rather shocked tt i knew wat thongs were. to her, tt was juz plain ol' sleazy, & tt it gives a permanent butt-crack-splitting wedgy. some kinky hooker wear. evil too, coz literallt they are a pain in de arse. budden thongs got several meanings! 1) undies 2)slippers 3) the kiap-kiap thing on the bbq. so ya! she saw my thongs before.

okie..i digressed again. but tt's the arty-farty prototype ya. tt brainwaves are haphazard and they always lang-ga inside de head tt's why art folks can nv have coherent thots. wah, the chinese sinseh was fantastic. he said tt first do i slp late? nope, early in de morn. & my mum gave me tt see-la-told-u-dun-slp-late-still-dun-listen look. okie so de sinseh made it sound as tho my body was screwed up inside-out upside-down. (umm..FIGURATIVELY speaking, puhlease dun even tink towards de wayward side). my liver wasn't so good, eyes not too gd, heart beat irregular (like my mensus). seriously, if everything in the world could go wrong it muz be in de sinseh room. oh ya..bring it on sinseh baby..wats next? erectile dysfunction?

den came the grossed out black medicine. apparently this black poop can make my fallopian tubes drop eggs..as claimed by the sinseh. hell no! hmm..this mth one side the other month one side. freaked me out. then the whole consultation the modal(hahaz..maths!) word was egg. egg this egg tt, half-boiled will be fine. ya..technically speakin i noe dere are eggs droppin, but no nd so explicit rite! so cluck-cluck-i-feel-like-a-mother-hen, i-wanna-eat-ur-chicken-wing. wth.

so wats the lesson learnt? nv tell ur mum tt u have irregular mensus, i noe she cares but de sinseh..!haizz.. wait..MENsus..MEN should have it. let em' bleed. PERIOD.