Whilst taking a 5 minute dreamer from writing the dreaded report, i had this really calm/blissfully /well-acquainted peace from inside. Not trying to risk sounding like a levitating yogi, got to stress that it really feels like a synced harmony between the psych and everything. I felt The Inner Peace. *cue two random cupids on Harps* Hahahaha, deep inside i'm going oh PUHlease, you cheesy fartheaded cliche sprouting moodle. Cliche aside, I've got Peace Like A River! lalalalalaaa(set the doves free)


It just feels damn good. Was pondering hard on Psalms 23.1,"The Lord is my shephard, i shall not be in want." This must be the duracell bunny i never did own! and well, since this verse is one of the few verses i memorized. It gives this sense of ease that makes me think, ya..ok so what if it goes wrong? So what if i'm disapproved? I shouldnt be doused like a wet duck. Even if the thing that i'm determined to do is dragged into a stinky cold bath. I fully trust that the Lord is faithful and will see us through, all that needs to be done, is to keep our eyes on Him.


It is a daily struggle, come to think of it, to stand out and be proud to say, Yep I'm a Chrisitian. I don't feel easy doing that, because i'm not there yet, and still finding the way through. Cause somewhere in the middle, we tend to fall off the bandwagon, loiter in the wilderness, find a bush, take a poop, before we get back to the tracks to hop Back on the band. I think this is not easy at all.


Is it possible to dissect the want for worldly gains to the desire for a Christian walk and be certain to say that, "Yes, i want to be walk close to Him."?? I'm leaning more towards the rhectorical No. Perhaps it is actually, But that is if all of the people where angels, and could fly. Truth is that the measure of success is often calculated in achievements either in the form of power or prestige and in other cases, paychecks. It just seem super hypocritical to me when i hear people speak as though there were ponies on the meadows and all talk about Worldly achievements like they were something from a planet on the Undiscovered Universe. erhemm.. People, do not behave like lab mouses, or mice, whatever, ceteris paribus. People are random, haphazard, sometimes in periods of emergency, run like headless chickens in feather-ed madness, i-am-speaking-for-myself, so therefore, CANNOT be trusted on the full impact of their words. *Breathe* Now that was long. :)


I suppose Mere Awareness of this weird disparity is enough to spur us to re-evaluate what is really important. How to sync worldly goals whilst keeping a firm eye on Christ. YES. I finally got the hey-i-hit-it-spot-on-YAY! question. Have been thinking so long about this. Because to me it seems like the more ambitions i have, the more i feel a distance between. Which is bad.


Anyways, my head is like cornetto ice-cream whirl now. And the ideas are getting soft and melting. I guess let me just let the poverbial wild goose run around the mulberry bush some other day. Meanwhile, i HAVE to go back to writing the report, which i please-d for an extension, the extension which is ending in 31.5 hrs from now. :)