Something kinda Funny :D

Self-awareness is a very beautiful thing. Because it helms the soul in, and along comes this soothing reassurance. So the increased level in confidence may have absolutely nothing to do with the outside, nothing to do with the current circumstances. Insecurity is such a bitch, bitch, bitch at times. It is so damaging. But sometimes childhood insecurity is like yesterday's problem swept under today's rug. So sick and tired! Not good enough, not good enough? Once and for all, OK, good enough. Good enough to Him, to parents, to friends, to myself. Settled.


I was staring blank facing the window which overlooks the ferris wheel besides the Sheares bridge. The office was empty, and it was just fantastic. Went to the boardroom, closed the door, sat there with my ipod with Garth brooks Lost in You playing on repeat. That feeling, gosh. It was more than fabulous than fabulous itself. And i sat there imagining how beautiful the surroundings would look on the ferris itself. Did much thinking, or rather, dreaming on the swivel chair. The feeling of being on a high floor and looking afar, is very therapeutic. The night sky is so sweet. You'll see the little specks of light on the Sheares, office lights from the opposite buildings, look down, and theres the westin's swimmining pool. This tingly vertigo that creeps on as i plastered my plams against the glass panel. I can only dream about how pretty it will look on the tanjong rhu stretch. Dreaming so much, that i can feel that spastic expression creeping up on the face. Hopeless dreamer look. Often, the most beautiful times are the times you spend alone and everything you are feeling inside is so real and so unpretentious. Felt so very happy, and it feels so very lucky.


Must be the music la, damn. Make me feel so sappy. hahahhaa. Raining outside somemore!


But then later i went up to new asia, although there was company, the feeling dissipated. I realised it was beautiful because the feeling was so raw, and honest. Must have been missing something all this while. I guess i found it.