Scared

Stringed coincidences on the table are enough to push hopes over the edge. But still, i am still stuck to the belief that it is true. At this point, i would think a string of coincidences can be taken as facts. Say a string of 2? Is it enough? So confused really, to second guess yourself, repeatedly. Its hard to explain this feeling which teeters along the line of hopeful stupidity to wakeup rationality.


So i said a silent prayer in my head. It calmed me down. Not because i have the answers, but because God is good, and He has His time. That is good to know. For sure, disgruntled grunts will echo if His time happens to be not the time i wish for. It will be easy to sing praises to Him when everything is to one's favour. But when it is not? I am not sure if the faith is strong to sustain if a blow comes my way. Cause really this means something to me. But then again. Who knows better.


This feeling is so foreign to the mind.


The target for this year's Children Enrichment camp is 225. Runs for 4 days, 7 to 6. Third year running, my first involvement. Quite frankly because screaming children are a (major) turn off. So by the grace of God, i received a sms from May Ann asking for helpers to come forward. So after a few days thought and a momental muscle spasm, i replied a yes. As an amateur asst teacher helper for the Church's Children Camp. I'll be lying if i say i'm ecstatic. I'm facing it with alot of apprehension. 8 year olds, wow. Not a easy group to handle. Again, this is a step of faith. Yes it is uncomfortable, but somewhere somehow's gotta learn. I just want to make myself useful larh.


Poor heart is working the palpitations again. I'm scared. My nerves are kway-teow fried. :(