Ramblings

Life is just unfair for some people. They have bad recurrences that just keeps coming hot on their heels but they keep fighting back. As much as im in awe of their resilience, i also feel injusticed for them. I don't think they want others to sympathetize with their plight though. So i'm just impressed, fully impressed with them. It makes me think like how many things that i fret about really is damn trivial and selfish.



Actually, not daring to love is selfish itself. I always thought it was because the fear of losing your safety blanket yeap but apparently Sb read me something the other day which debunks what i orginally thought. Well anyways, its something i never realised.


Which brings me to the point of you cannot really believe everything said or heard cause people are random in general. Something along the lines of contemplating worse-case scenario in every scenario. Its pathetic and its sad and its pessimisstic. Hmm, but it also feels safer inside that you have thought about how failure comes before it coming, so the feeling may not be so raw when you feel it.


and then really after all i have been told, i have no idea what to believe. Everything is so here there and in the air, and confusing. pff.


This coming week is cell, im supposed to lead. Haven't been to cell for ages, so far from God and i'm not looking forward to it. Cause its a very strange feeling. Basically, like that of a major fraud case.
How do you put that in words.