Not Psyched

Listless attitude. Thats what it is and how it feels. Throw in a couple of sore throats and cramps, makes one competent week. Tomorrows one long day. In a bid to rev up The Life in general, i took up a part-time job. Anything to psych me up except project and tutorials. I feel so so tired of it. And I didnt manage to file for my psych minor, because of carelessness on my part.


So this week, the mood is in the gutters. Psych is the only thing that makes life less sickening. And yeap, i had to mess it up. Not to mention i cancelled out on several friends last minute, of which i drew a major flak from one friend. Some torrents of sms, and phonecalls. It was my fault anyways. Thats what you get when you have emotions all over the place, and you let them take the better. Sigh, im so drained. Tired is not the word, because i havent done anything substantial that warrants the use of the word "tired". In the end, i managed to placate my friend. Which really wasnt easy, because being the passive person i am, i will wait for the moment to pass. Hoping that everything will be fine tomorrow, or maybe the day after tomorrow. And urgh, it was a pain in the arse having to deal with such. Threw pride and ego out of the window.


Today was spent at the sobby free access. I looked around and thought this is such a cold clinical place. It made me positively sick in the gut at some points. Not the people, but the situation. And this entire flood of things just shot through. Quite overwhelming, but got to rein the brain back to project. We are doing Nokia in China. You know, i like the new topic. Its interesting enough for you to want to learn from it! Brights up my day that i'm doing this because i want to learn, instead of prostituting my time to get an A. Like Janice used to say, love the process. Generally that makes me grin, but when it comes to accounting, more like a grimace. Accounting is...like the itch in the middle of your back, that your just cannot reach to give it ONE GOOD SCRATCH.


Anyways...So happy, after this im done! Right now, it is numbness to the bone. I dunno, just very out of sorts! Dazed and unfazed.


Well, i guess its a matter how one thing after another adds on to your threshold. And really, theres no room for the cookie to crumble. Sometimes its not even about crumbling its about no oil to the engine. Even if its really bad, there is He to seek solace to. Just like a defiant kid who runs into shit, goes runnning to safe shores, yeeeap, i see myself in the kid.


Anyways, be strong. Your mind is as strong as you want it to be! I'm still all sourprunes over the psych messed-up. This is one painful lesson. Fabulous Crap :(