Existentialist issues. It feels so powerless really. To that person, please don't read my blog anymore. i feel extremely dissected, and dun wish for you to read it. Cause i dunno what the is your intention in doing so. From what i see, it is anything but good. There you have it, my mood is really low. And you have got to know what you want to know. And really..to another person. you are the best, most sincere and the person im most honest with. im really sorry i gave you crap, i trampled on ur feelings, but still when i asked you if you detested me, you said no. The days spent at the little hut will be something i'll remember, but i doubt the little hut is there anymore. So along with it they have removed part of what represents innocent adoration. What is this. When it feels like a vacuous void from within now, i dun ever remember having that kind of emotions years back. Now tell me since when was having a more acute self-awareness good? I was happiest when i was least aware of my existence it seems. So what ever leaves of the memories are prolly the days of starbucks rhumba, the lido cineplex, the lido1, the park, the coffee bean, the staircase that almost does seem like it leads to heaven cause it is so high up, the rose outside the schoolgate, fuck. Where are those picturesque feelings. i feel so bad for taking them for granted. The good fun at the reservoir, ncc, camp, grouses, where the hell is it.The 02A03, my little paradisical heaven on earth who thot me how to be nice to people instead of mental assasinating every possible mistake. Please would you just go away, dun come near me anymore. Dun intrude in my emotions. Cause you are just using me for some stupid reason and then when i gave you my sincere emotions. Damn you. What you cant see sure dun kill you, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. in that case, i pray thee let me be a wussy of a weakling for the intangibles are really tearing me from the little corners. and it hurts.