Believer

Being happy is the best gift to yourself. The endorphins seem to linger for a shorter while than the blues. I suspect blue mood is the default mode to be in. If there's no effort to work the happy bug, then it basically returns to default. But it is okay. If life is too easy peasy, then it wouldnt be fulfilling. So i accept the troughs as much as i would love to ride on the crest.


As i try to contend to ease myself out of those pesky Lilipudian ropes, i am trying to appreciate them, for their presence will make me more resilient to future problems once i overcome them. And they say that you are your worst enemy. Can't agree more. Got to weasel the devil from within, not easy. I think God gave me these issues so that i will be drawn closer to Him, learning that without Him i am really nothing. If not, conceit will take over, that pompous attitude that i am my own person, and who needs God when everything is fine? It is so true, when things are up, seldom do we give thanks to Him. The usual case of assuming credit for everything good that happens, and the "why-me" rhetoric when bad things happen. Bad things happen to everyone, we don't live in candy land. To expect to be happy all the time is just transparent nonsense. The next best thing is convincing the self that life can be happy, if you make it out to be.


Nobody wishes to have that vacuous void within. It is such a coccooned state to be in, hands tied behind your back, those listless lifeless moodless eyes that shifts without actually focusing on anything. When that sets in, it really does feel really alone. Like a social outcast of a fringe society. Well, the only difference is that you can see people walking around, But again, you can't really feel them even if it is a hair's breadth away. It tears at the edges of the being. And it is claustrophobic to be that hen-cooped. Hmm, words can only do so much. Mood buoyancy is not something another person can do to help. They throw the float, jolly well got to blow it up yourself for it to work. I pray for strength to blow the float, and strength to kick hard to reach the shore.



"I Can Do All Things in Him That Strengthens Me"
Philippians 4:13


Believe and have faith. The void will be no more.