sad to happy!

It sinks my heart a little as I see the familiar nick pop up from the sidebar, and see the online status beside the name but it makes me feel so helpless as I stare down at in. Sometimes i stare so hard, the name whirls into a blur before my eyes. It makes me sad to know that even having a decent conversation is so not a possbility.


So i muster up a muscle to click on the name and see the msn display pic. Gee..it gets me once again. Like who am i trying to kid? As if it helps that I always cheat myself into believing I have no ounce of emotions, into thinking that yah, everything happens for a reason, and yah, the fact that I am going out with other guys means that i',m free from this emotional weight. The fact that I sometimes speak in riddles cause I really don't want to seem as though I am, still am, harping about the same old issue.


But the thing is the vibes a person gives you is simply irreplaceble. It cant be transfered from one to another. The walks will be something I remember, and now at retrospect, I feel almost guilty for not treasuring the moment so, as I was walking alongside with him. The times over lunch, and on the mrt.


Maybe it is all jolly well a figment of my imagination. I dont even know what to think. Can't help but wish that the attention I get from some others was actually from the person I would really want it to come from. Too bad. Things happen for a reason, and i hope the reason was for the good. However it is.


Anyways, on a lighter note, I had gotten a wee bit closer with my french classmates, we have this little clique that seats at the back. Joel, Boon hoe, Clarence, Jiahui and myself. Nicolas was rather amused by the way we laughed at everything. The way he says "i think we have a little something at the back" with his french accent was so wooah! Biz comm class was good as well. I really like Regina alot, she has this innocent air and dizzy thing about her, I cant help being really attracted to her as a friend.


After that I met Py to go fiesta for dinner, and it was so embarrassing cause I had forgotten to bring my atm along and she had to pay first. Before meeting her, I chanced upon wx, jack, chris and their friend, whose name i cant remember although I shook hands with him and we introduced ourselves. How sad. Haaha..anyways, i told wx that prior to meeting him, i had already this gut feeling that told me that I would meet him. During the wait, I saw Faye running towards the bus when it came, but before i could shout to her, she boarded the bus! So, it was going to dinner with wx and friends, actually seeing them eat, before meeting Py for dinner.


So there, a boring account to my boring day. But no actually I thought i was pretty uppity today, maybe it is beacuse tomorrow I am getting my tuition pay and the first thing i am gonna do is get my fingers on the Memoirs Of A Geisha. I saw the book sitting pretty on the book shelf and it was just calling out my name, so i blardy have to get it. It has this air of period drama eroticism plus some foggy far away in the pages of history feel. And and and, yes. I am gonna get myself one good pair of birkenstocks. And with that, and by the way, there is really no more and, cause by then I'll be as penniless as a drain rat. But a very happy drain rat with that being said.


Oh by the way, weixiong, enough enough said! Still I am very touched by what you said over msn! And the dd dollies!


So i bless you with jobs aplenty! So there will never be a period of unemployment for you.


oh wait. Wx only wants hand and blow jobs.