The bewilderment is crazy. It spins my head crazy. I am darn pissed. A tad hurt. So it's all a bag of sweet endearing terms. Crunch time? It just gives way. But again, I must not expect much from anyone cause they dun owe it to me to be nice to me or what. That means I dun owe it to them to be there when they need me right? Two way traffic. Sorry.? I'm sorry for being unsorry to that sorry. . . ... .... .... hurting!! ..

It is really quite unnerving to say the least when you find yourself tearing up on bus 179, when the bus is quite packed. I couldnt help it at all, the tears just fell, half in anger half in pain. So i suppose the whole thing just stings. Stings to know that a stranger, oh well, 2 strangers, oh well, kinda surpasses everything. It's so odd. When 12 hrs before and 12 hrs now, the mood changes completely and so does the one's relative importance. Well, oh fuck it..everything is relative. Nothing such as my fucking feelings is ever reaslistically objective. Never mind..lets just take something sucky and painful and turn it into one fatass joke. At least i am still human, still have enough feelings to expererience that kind of physical heart-ache, and sufficient emotions to tear up. But who really cares abt how anyone feels huh? Say say only what, i love you, you love me. But it still hurts, like alot. When you are feeling so damn concerned, and worried and what?! Maybe i just have exaggerated emotions beneath the expressionless face. But it hurts it really really hurts. Just don't go breaking my heart. I am really just a closet emotional wussy. But damage is done.