Ginnie-comes-lately =(

Posting here gives a sense of gratification, even if the postings have no relevance to what exactly is going around. I think its just the act of writing that gratifies rather than what is actually written. Am feeling the bubbled-sheep-syndrome here today. It was good in the day. Good when we make hay whilst the sun shines. Ok, i did work today, but not enough to call it an effecient day. Cause my mind wasnt plugged to the system, and I was operating like a wound up toy-mouse.


Janice is overseas, and that gives Jas and I some time to take a breather. I am envious at her simple approach to life and her positivity. You can sort of sense the vibes of life-contentment, so to speak. It often bewilders me how to manage this equilibrium. All those different schools of thought, hawking polar views of "contentment". One says not to rest on your laurels, to me it reads, never be too satisfied with youself. The other says be contented with what you have. Which can also mean, settling for less than what you deserve. Apparently, the way we are encouraged to look at this, is to dissect all situational events, and accord them differential treatments. With regards to work/achievement-oriented goals, the i-am-never-satisfied view fits the mould. With regards to Life, blissful is the one who takes joy in the existing status quo. That's about one of the many many equilibriums that we got to seek.


Anyways, back to Jasmine. I like this girl, she's genuine, i get this from my gut instinct. I like the way this new friendship is going. Same goes with Ivan and Lawrence, both genuine people. It was supposedly a happy day, in the textbooked sense of the word. Everything is good, i met the colleagues whom i corresponded with via email, and now managed to attach a face(not a file) to their name. A few of them had flown in for a meeting and will be around for a couple of days.


It is so strange to be laughing and keeling over in side stitches just a couple hours ago, and then to sit back and think to self, gee and what was i laughing for. Emoting a semblance of a feeling seems to be more like a reflex action, without much thought. It runs just as deep as the puddle of water. It is funny to me, just as well, when i look at the stack of namecards, which i have collected in my short 6 weeks here to date. I don't really remember the person or the name, but start to think of the name as "which-excelsheet-on-which-database". Sterile socializing, how fun.


So much for confetti thoughts. Honestly my day was good, by virtue that nothing bad happened. God seems very far away, can He see me here? I'm thinking how ironic are the letters on the top blue bar. It's both a reminder and an embarrassment to the state of the foggy relationship with Him. Hmm, actually i am not very sure if you have guessed it, but after all that I write, i have not exactly smelled the stench of what got me in this state of mind.


With that said, this is a form of gratification, albeit an instant one. Delayed gratification? Hmm..sleeping i guess? :)


Tomorrow will be a better day.