Being sick these days has allowed so much time to reflect upon certain things. Some that I've neglected, resurfaces to show me its importance. Whereas I have come to a realisation--after so long, that some things don't matter at all. Not because I have come to mentally detach myself from them, its just that they are really not within my control, and so there's really no basis in revolving thoughts on them. This realisation has given me some impetus to change my blogskin! Haha, that sounds so plain ridiculous, but somehow I've taken a liking towards neat, fuss-free, elegant, poised, retrochic-ish stuff. Anyways, I digressed. Talking to Sabai on the fone for a whole 3 and half hours and Ah Dot for another hour feels so nice. Really..its like just casting the facade away, open the emotional floodgates, pour out all your thoughts, and knowing that the other person wouldn't judge you for what you said. I mean its really a simple pleasure in life, just talking..that is, without the facades. I suppose this form of connection comes about through a lot of time spent building up a relationship. That is why I always thought that relationships are so to be treasured. But somehow, I find it somewhat uneasy about letting the emotional side of me come out. So frankly, its really difficult to bottle up all those pent up emotions at times. Well, I guess its always better to hold it in then talk it out and risk scaring people off with all the emotional stuff. But again, I really love that close intimate feeling of getting all emotional. Gee, what am I talking about?! Its like something you crave for, yet something that seems a bit far-fetched that you wouldn't want to risk stretching out your arm and reaching for it. Thus, the net outcome would be sitting at the original spot, attempting to grapple with all the overflowing emotions. Ah, the talk with Sabai was so so sweet. And yes, it got me damn emotional, I felt like a mush pot. So Sabai was saying about how long our friendship has gone by, and that one day we would attend each other's weddings and be the bride's maid. Heck! I guess I could be the old maid as well~! Anyways, I digressed AGAIN. Okay..this is suppose to be that of a sappy and extremely emotive mood. (Cue: A very sappy love song) I was picturing this really romantic scene of Sabai throwing her hand bouquet (yes, I'm crap of a cliche) amidst a whirlwind of confetti. And guess what, i cried. As in, teared up over the phone. Nope, definitely not because I din manage to catch the hand bouquet (that would be so phone-y), but actually just the whole thing about you know seeing your best friend happily in love and moving to the next stage of her life. Its so beautiful you know, like you know (more cliches) white setting, doves, flowers, everlasting love. Its really too much for me to handle, because it just like the emotional side of me that is ever so eager to tweak out, I subconsciously know that beautiful things are meant to fantasize about, and dreams are meant to vapourize rather then materialize.Hmm..and does that explain why the sudden surge of emotions? Probably..So I told Sabai..aye, dun say anymore I'm like going to turn into this emotional wussy. Sabai's response to that was."your mensus coming or is coming or came (and left)" That really got me tickled. Be it Men or Mensus coming/is coming/came in their various past present or future tense, I'm still a heck-of-a-emotional sap! No correlation!! Hahaz..I really love this girl to bits. She is funny, as in you can never quite expect what will come out of her. Somethings that she did are totally hilarious and gutsy. Things that I'll probably dare to do in-my-dreams. Yesh, so whenever she tells me what she did, I cant help squealing like a deranged nutcase cause that was so what I wanted to do, but have no guts to do. Oh..technically speaking I do have a gut found somewhere in my stomach?? I digressed...AGAIN. So Sabai is totally frank also. (and i think she likes paul frank too=)) This quality i find very attractive in her. Simply because what you hear is closest to what you can get in reality. Without all the bulls**ts. Cant stand those beating around the mulberry bush that kind of stuff. Frankness is always the first step to the development of a friendship, i feel. Sometimes, its really more important to be flogged down by the frank opinions, rather that be moddle-coddled with all the saccharine sweet-honey coated words. Really..the latter does not help much in anything, except to give you some mental diabetes after prolonged exposure. She's really that great man! What can I say? I feel so extremely blessed to have her and Ah dotty-wheres-ur-potty as my closest buds.Love is so in the air after talking to them. They have thrown away all jaded views about friendship, and make me believe in treating friends around with utmost sincerity as best as possible. Maybe the world is really quite a pretty place to live in, if the lens of cynicism would be discarded and replaced with something like love and trust. It really does seem so much more cheery to me now. =)