Closet Cheese Puff

I love surprises. Just when you are basking in this state of blissful insouciance, this young punk called Surprise, comes right from behind and then BOO! Scares your knickers out of you. Basket. It takes awhile to fetch that equilibrium back, and place it right back on the shelf. Grr, no more please.


At the end of these thrill rides, i go home feeling like a perfunctory know-nothing. Cause there is so much you think can happen, and sad to say that the train of thoughts does de-rail sometimes. Goodness knows when it comes hither. This feeling, feels very pathetic. And it really goes to show that the Lord is the only form of stability in these madcap updowns.


Right now, i just want to sit at Changi Airport, whine abit, and watch the planes fly off. And i'll picture my thoughts, safely belted up, sitting right there in the plane, and when it lands through the pool of clouds, ah ha! That. Is where i want to be. (cue: misty eye look)


Gosh that was so cheesy. But its because it's raining now, and people get possessed by melodramatic twitches when it starts raining like that. So...i think its ok :) tee hee heee..and dont rain too often :D

Rants at 3am

Its very pointless to enunciate this point(heh); at the final sem of study at 3am in the morning. Is it necessary to get a local degree? Or a foreign full-time degree? When a part-time degree from SIM can be completed within 1.5 yrs(fastforward?). And it suffices for entry positions into banks? Haha, aint trying to revive the corpse from the morgue slab..but it is calling for ventilation at this weird time.


This semester's core is sian to the Point of super! The joy of learning is all in the electives. And one of the electives reads.."history of western music", and the other, "media in America'. Its quite a "hmmm-i-seeeee-moment" everytime an atas-sounding jargon rolls off the tongue from the journo Prof. Though I see nothing.


To illustrate The Point of Selling Out. After 3 mods of business law, only the case where the snail was found in the gingerbeer(?) bears some hazy recall.


For a pointless rant, that was many points made. Bo Bian. Sold out means sold out already.

Saturday

Puddle bunches of things that awaits completion. One includes the FYP, otherwise known as the Finish-Your-Project. Hee, and somehow it just makes me really gleeful to know that this year is going to be quite a transition. And with that comes a tail of blazing concerns tied at the back like noisy tin cans that rattle as you go along. It gives me immense comfort to know that the Lord has brought me through thus far, and when the time comes, each of those noisy rattling things will be dislodged.


I mean i just think about the events for the past month or so, how i nearly got conned by the this Str****ic Pa*****rs firm and was stupid enough to give up a post at Chanel for it, and how in the end it turned out ok. Unscathed in the physical sense, but extremely wary and very bitter about the entire thing. It pisses and relieves me at the same time (hee, bad pun), and all the time I was grumbling to the Lord..that why oh why, i was at the receiving end of this cascading shit.


Which brings me to quite an insignificant encounter; about the slightest thing that can make you happy. So it was a relief that on the bus ride back, this poised young lady who smelled like a delighted tub of caramel popcorn sat beside me. Thank goodness! I mean if you take bus 66 from Serangoon to home too, i think you know what i mean. Because, sometimes the smell can get quite happening. :D

Nickelback - Someday

Oh my. This is so warped.


Anyways...Peiyu, I miss you man! Are you ok over there? Nobody to poke jibes and eat ciabatta and slack at coffee bean! Last sem of school starting in a heartbeat. I cant wait for it to be over...and there are SO many things to say but words do not suffice. So dont bother :)

Heartspeaks.

Trust is this inate vibe that you get through communication, and the intangible something from inside. Relationships are built on the basis of trust and transparency. Of course there is camaderie. Its pretty amazing how friendships are formed. It might be the most haphazard way, but once that level of trust is established, it forms the bedrock of any relationship. After trust comes camaderie and transparency. The combustion of the three is not usually present in all situations. This makes it really special because it touches something inside, removing elements of pretense and bravado.


With that said, because that feeling is hard to find, it makes close friends even closer to heart. Friends whom seen the best side, the worst side, and still loves all sides. Contrast to a working environment where agendas are in place and every move is a strategy. Not to say all are like that, but its becoming more and more apparent. Being blind to it doesnt make it any more blissful, but on the other hand, awareness of it teases a string of cynicism. Its quite impossible to help with an open heart without feeling as though you had your emotions pickpocketed.



And how else do you know where to open the little window of your heart. It is to give genuine help, not help that is tagged with a list of conditions. Apparently, that is not easy at all. And it keeps me thinking...how this elusive Trust & Camaderie, where explanations can draw no perimeters. Little wonder why people seek to find the elusive T&C's. What makes you think it is easy to find.

Baggage left behind

Have you had a day where you feel so super amped up. Where you toss an impassioned gaze towards the mirror, feeling a whole bunch of silent resolve. Next, to lay out all the rambling kvetch inside, and dispose of the nonsense. I don't know what gungho pill i ate yesterday leaving me more gutsy then usual. Anyways, this feels good and I certainly hope it stays.


Sometimes all you need is so snuff out all those insecure vibes and just ignore all second guessings. For sure life can be a bed of roses (mind you roses have thorns), if you can bring enough positivity to grow the good. Whatever it is, i'm ready to face problems. Bring them on man! erm..one at a time! :D

SIGH

Its plain strange to have something good come along. While i'm pretty used to feeling bummed, I supposed every dog has its day, every person, an icing on her cake. It had been a good start to the year. For that, i must give thanks. Certainly i hope this is just the beginning of the ride up the ferris. Each time my prayer has been a series of questions, and it gives immense comfort just to see that little silver lining. Just about enough to spur me on.


One random thought. I would love to get on a cablecar at Mount faber really soon! Just for no particular reason except to scare myself abit as i stare down many many feet. And as the cabin goes swinging from side to side, geeee..is the rope strong enough?? Nah. Its the scenary I like. And at times we wish for people around, what we really want is people who have a mutual understanding around.


Like similar quirks of observing how civic-consciousness our society has honed us to be. Says even the signboard on the MRT tracks urging you to "Act Responsibly" (even in times of pre-suicidal verve), to always think of the social consequence of your act. Even how we roll our eyes in mock dismay each time we hear someone sprout a senseless cliche..and ironically forgetting how cliche it is for us to roll at someone else's cliche. And also how we push each other smack in the faces of our ex-crushes, only to look like complete fools in front of the person we really would love to impress.



For all that my friend, i WILL miss you when you head to the States. When i see a pathetic scene and stifle a grin inside, i will think of how you look when you hear of something outrageous. If you could, and if you please...do take a cutesy picture of yourself , with your jeans tucked inside your cutesy little boots, wearing your cutesy little beanie, beside a cutesy little cartoon statue. Just so that Ah dot and i know that you are safe and very sound.



You know what, i miss you already. So you sobby pruneface, you better miss me too.