6/10 of a decade

Departure halls are the perfect setting for yet another teary affair Does it get worse from here? Where the absence gets even more pronounced When you realised that indeed, It is goodbye, for good. Sweet memories makes it harder The mind clicks on the replay The heart gets another wrench It almost blurs the line between the emotionally felt and the physically felt Makes me feel so crumpled up inside

Wavelength deficiency

You say "not bad", i hear "not good" You say "okay", i hear "can do better" You say everything that you ask in faith will be given. I wonder is it the lack of faith, or I didn't ask. You say "don't worry" I think only the important stuff are worth the worry. You say, smile and your day will be better. I think..gee. Knowledge of the good, makes me sadder. You say, the early bird catches the worm. I think poor little early worm. You say, hey i miss you. I say, (you left) ya i totally missed you. You say right on I think its more like left out. You say, you can control your emotions I say, i must be paralysed in that area. You say "be patient" I say sure. See me in the hospital. Cause i am bloody sick of waiting.

I am always late

It isn't fair I'm always late Don't want to But It is mainly The self-same issues Would you say Something today Buy some time Or a maybe baby? A chancopportunity Now thats my lady Rest my case. Ease the pain.

EXTREME BOREDOM

I can type incoherent sentences, cant type in coherent sentence, cause im so tired. But apparently, not too tired to switch on the com, log into blogger, click on the create-post button to whine about being tired. Just talking about that made me even more tired. And i have no energy to off the com cause im really that tired. So i guess i shall keep on typing till im too tired to continue.


Which is like right now

be considerate

It is unjustifiable that everyone has to settle for a weird arrangement just because others want to do factor in their own leisure time for consideration. Speechless. Kudos to you then.

sugarplum honeybunch

The workload gets a wee bit heavy as the slope of the pile steepens. I was telling wx today that ya, we can feel the heat, soon after all of us will be on fire. But assignments are good, they make you think, and its always rewarding to think so hard that you manage to reach a never seen before perspective on things. This is prolly akin to weaning the baby before pushing us out of our comfort zone. I am ready. Bring it on. Bring it a (little) on. And I finally saw qianyi in school. After donkey ages. Boy, did she look different again. First it was the tan, then it was the brown hair, then it was the ebony black, then was the black statement-underlined specs, then now its the crazy punk up-do. Like the sec three times. I wanted to hug her but it was smack in the middle of s4, and i thought maybe i shant embarrass her, though i dont mind embarrassing myself, and anyways, like who-will-bother-to-care. haha..but she has this aura about her, of total calmness. I've never seen her frenzied before, shes always in that state of ease. I really like her. She's up front smack in your face, and shes a damn good sport partner, cause she's really physically at the peak. Always nice to lounge in the company of old friends. They just make me go awww, in the heart. Like come here you sugardonut i want to hug you till all your frosties gets shaken off. Haha..aww, cant breathe! =)

psalms 23

Verses from Psalms (which brings me up whenever I am really down in the doldrums) -''The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in the green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.." (psalms 23:1-3)

the glorious BRa

I heard the most ridiculous thing of the day. Flora told me that her friend who works in a house near ours, had a salary deduction caused The Female Employer accused her of stealing her bra. A whopping 100 buckaroos dedcution for a Triumph, diamond studded (which The Female Employer claimed it was real), spanking new, burp, smelly bra. Oh, justifying the gender of the feeeeemale employer is indeed necessary. Really it is. Just because you never know what people do behind close doors, or by that matter, what happy pole-dancing skeletons they keep in the closet. And because Ben, a chinese high boy whom I knew from a NCC camp, pointed to me to a fellow chinese high boy ABC, who, apparently, told Ben, told Ben like very secretly, that he, as in ABC, flashed va-va-voom red nails in a chinese high class, in front of fellow chinese high boys, and asked them if it was pweety pweety nice. Is it? Is it? And shushed hushly told Ben, that he wore his mum's bras at home. Point is not that Ben, has a fat flopping mouth, nor me, who has a loudhailer as mouth, but, that people do have spooky closet skeletons. Booooo! Anyways, see la, I digress. Ok. Let me get into that outraged mood that I was like 2 seconds ago? Flora told me that her friend is often locked in the house when the kids go to school because The Female Employer refused to let her go mingle with friends. Because The Female Employer assumes every single fellow Filipinas are bad bad company, and all they teach you is how to go Lucky Plaza to jio the Banglas, and then make friends with them, and then bring them home, and then, I don't know already. So sometimes when Flora passes by the house which is at the first floor, her friend will call out to her to buy lunch, and there was once, she needed sanitary pads urgently, to keep the blood in. Ya, thats human rights violation! You apparently can't keep humans in the same way you do to endangered animals. I would have felt so insanely furious if I were to be denied access to a sanitary pad. Flora's friend had 100 dollars deducted from her salary due to the negligent loss of a diamond studded triumph bra. That is about a third of her salary, which she needs to send home, so that family members can use the money more efficiently than the purchase of a ratty-tat of a bra. Question is who in the world wants to steal a smelly bra? You must be on (butt)_crack. Or feel triumphant by digging out a faux diamond on a smelly bra. Triumph bras ah, have NO real diamonds on it. That is not a real diamond for goodness sake! Gee..and if indeed, indeed, its real, then actually i have 6 spanking diamonds on mine, cause there ah 3 diamonds on each side. -_- Then really, I think my bra is so much more worth the stealing. Just climb seven floors, there you have it, 6 fake diamonds on seventh heaven. Bleargh. And if its indeed stolen, why is it does flora's friend has to bear the deduction brunt for a bra-stealing itchy hand? Thats because The Female Employer is abusing her position by bullying a weaker person than her. She can jolly well wear other bras, or if she's like me, she can jolly well do without it. Spending money on things you don't need is not worth the bling. Then I asked Flora did her friend complained to the Philippine embassy for this kind of restrictive living. (and i heard if she wants to go for an off-day, her salary has to be deducted by 40 bucks=( )Her friend apparently, did not. Why is that so, I am unsure. Anyways, from what Flora last heard, The Female Employer was complaining about why her friend did not come back to work after leaving for Philippines for a holiday. Thats beyond obvious to say the least. Maybe her huge ba-dangs blurred her vision to rational obscurity. Maybe, thats just a random speculation. =) I am so glad for her friend! Finally she has ran far far away from the Witch from the West, to be united in holy matrimony with the man that loves her, adores her, and treats her like his little princess. Now that reminds me of Cinderella. Case of the missing triumphant diamond studded bra, closed. I think they have a missing bra gloriously sitting in the bukit batok west avenue 6 police post. Yea. The one that is gold-plated, D sized ba-dangs. I think they are trying to find a fit amongst the women who lives along bukit batok west avenue 6. Maybe its mine. ya. No harm trying. I think i need cotton wool.

I cant figure how to be firm and unbreakable yet warm and endearing, together. Superficially seen as how deep as your actions are. Hah..and who am I to speak depth about the shallow? Petty issues. Sick of it. Some self-contrued drama extended by the acts of imagination. Oh well, everybody has their right of assuming self-perception as the unwavering truth. We are all equally just as wrong as we think. Whats with the self-righteousness and the double standards. The right to pass judgement is not with humans, but with God. Two wrongs make no rights. And while I am at it, I should reign in my tongue too.

I'm positively impressed by Sb, by the detail that she goes into when picking out a gift for Veron's 21st bday. She remembers even the most minute of details. I was just looking at her in the gift shop, where she starts to pick out a present, then comtemplate if its Veron-ish and ask me if its a good deal. She even remembered that Veron wanted a 5000 piece puzzle. So Sb was like wondering if the 1000 piece puzzle that we saw will do the trick. I mean these little things you remember if the person is your closest friend, thats to me laa. People have differing degrees of love that they have to give, and some pple have more, some less, some just don't care? Ya, so i feel really blessed to have her around. And thank goodness she cant tahan my off the rockets trash talking. Full appreciation! =)

216:

Gnawing void circling in the smoke Feverish but not warm I must be so away from the sun I cling on to Your words. May i have faith and obedience in You. God i pray that you lift me up. Like the trail of footprints in the sand. My heart will sing of your psalms of praise. Let Your words be a lamp unto my feet. Change my heart oh Lord May i be like you.

Check out that Bedhead! That was me one year ago? I stumbled upon this pic whilst sorting out my files. The hair is...HILARIOUS! Thats what you call hair with volume! Yeeeaaaah. Uh-uh!


And i was Definitely thinner then. Damn! URGH. haha..i have always been anal about weight. I will get there, will get there, get there...haha


But i love food too much. =)

214: lo down with the lo down

Woke up feeling whiny and complainsome. Urgh. Which is not too good a feeling to wake up to. I was told something by somebody and I thought it was EXTREMELY odd. I need to capslock that word to convey that feeling of absurdity. It was so melodrama, i need to poke my eyes for tears to come running. My gosh. I used to say that i really cant stand cliches..just add melodrama to the list as well. Through it I was going uh-huh..ok..hmmm...ya...oh..?..i see...??? Weirded me out a lot. hmmm! On a sidenote: my abs feel very warm. OK...hahaha..my Tummy feels warm. I didnt know that eating kimchi gives you warm ab-ummies. Weird friday this is.

213: sporodic listings

Hmm let me see. Yesterday i spent 5 hours shop hopping with sabai and wow our stamina was awesome! Shant go about listing the items we bought, cause the more I list, the more my heart aches for my wallet. Anyways Sabai got this flouncy skirt which she got at Island shop at 50% off which is a big steal. Haha..little pleasures in shopping which includes getting really nice things at jump-off-the-building prices. Today i bought yet Another bag. Argh..it was a really nice one. So i conclude that both sb and wx have good tastes in clothes and stuff, but only sb has good taste in music. Hmmm...haha..wx trounced upon this song called International Affair by Mark Ronson. He said all the songs i listen to sound the same. Sigh...like since when andy lau sings rap infused ballads?! Haha..ok la..point noted. One man's fruit is another man's poison. Met up with faye and wx for lunch at Liang seah street, at the fish soup stall whose fish, no doubt is nice, but takes a looooonnngg time to fish. Haha..and the fish stall uncle is quite come on in "soliticising(?) business"...in faye's words. What a word! Lecture was dry, but not to the extent of slumberland-sweet-dreams kind. I suppose we were just not used to lessons. Phase 1 of the attachment companies are coming in..and I am clueless. Really ah, we have to step out to the real world quite soon. Such a nagging truth to behold. Hmmm...i promised God that i will walk closer to Him this year and put in more effort in all aspects. I am really trying to change my snail's pace, and of course to get myself psyched up for school. Just how weird it will be getting psyched! A leap of faith to bring me across mentally, and a step a day to bring myself closer to the goal physically.

212: How many resolutions are there in a new yr Resolution.

New Year's was passed meaningfully amongst the friends at sb's church, followed by bbq at yishun dam, and then we popped over to wilson's house where vian and me yakked till the wee hours of dawn. I am actually quite psyched up for 2006. I suppose one of the joys of increasing years is that you gain more self-awareness as well as a better developed consciousness of how-to-handle-situations. Totally looking forward to that. Hmm..new year resolutions are not my cup of tea, cause i prefer coffee. Nah..cause they have not lasted longer than it took for me to come out with them. I wouldnt call these resolutions, since it is more like a continuation from 05. I am going to make a more conscious effort in stepping out of my comfort zone, in all aspects. And..of course relationships between God and close ones, to be drawn even closer. Heee..after typing the previous para, i feel mildly amused and constipated. Gee..new year resolutions are over-over hyped. haha..i dunno what i'm trying to say too. I just know i dun wish to be cookie-cutter safe. Cause prim and proper feels as lively as a action robot. Anyways, have fun, be nice. =)