Motown Medley

Because a change once in awhile is fun and because of some chance encounter, stumbled upon a livejournal community and then..i been listening to Motown this few days! Yes..motown.. =)

Think Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gray and the likes. Actually there's a song i like..but too bad i cant manage to upload it for some strange reason. Anyways, its on the Charlie Angel's soundtrack, called Gotta Give it up. And also and also, Stevie wonder's My Cherie. =)


So make do with some others..


Aint No Mountain

Its the version by Marvin Gray and Tammi Terrell. So many covers of this song all over. Actually i think sb will like this, cause she mentioned it before.


And...Martha Reeves and the Vandellas


Jimmy Mack

The other one called Dancing In the street is nice, but cant get it up!

Yeah..some change is good ya?

No idea

Random moments like this when i feel bothered. Emotional attachment scares me the same way the carpet is pulled from underneath the feet. Its either total indifference to a point where i cant remember a projectmate's name, right up the 7th week, which is now. Or it is the other extreme of being emotionally needy. Cause for some strange reason i love to hover around, disturbing people that are close to heart. And obviously i can only do that to people whom im familiar too, and they actually like the hovering around. Other than that, passivity is the norm. Which makes me feel really inadequate right now, cause i have to hold back, and boy it sure does feel strained. But is there any way better out? Don't exactly think so. hmm..shall leave it here. This is so confusing.

Yawn

I started out wanting to rant a bit about school, about how numbing projects are. But of course it's the last thing i want to discuss now. It's just odd that we have projects in place to simulate some thought process and lend depth to the module that we are studying....all that is so rosy and idealistic on paper. In actual fact, its not half as fun as it seems. Usually it's done in such a regimented manner that it kills the joy. Regimented by and large due to time contraints. ok, enough said. Ah, ok..i kid. It's constipating me by not saying. Is it the air in Ntu or is it just the free access. Its depressing, it just makes zombies out of people. Somehow, going over to the library at the Humanities block feels less stifling. For some strange reason. I guess it was only a smidge better only during lunch when wx and i went cafe quad. It's the free access lab i maintain. The corridoors are in a delightful shade of grey, kind of matches my uppity mood. bleargh. But of course there are other things that genuinely makes me feel real happy. These mostly has nothing to do with school at all. Like yesterday, Nat was a real joy to be with, and today amidst all the project-blah, Py and i apparently managed to steal some time together. Like some school rendezvous. haha..apparently a guy stood her up today, and the guy is her tutor. So im like the substituted fun-by-default. Nice though. =) Funny this fickle little finger of Fate. Methinks they just lump and dump all random and inexplicable things under this halo of Fate/Ladyluck. Cause it is really inexplicable and so that makes it all the more mysterious. Surely God is much wiser than to make things occur at random. Its probably just people that do not have full appreciation of the situation and made it out to be as sporodic as a pesky mozzie travelling in the air. It's more than meets the eye. Honestly do think so. Tagboard dearest sure had a mind to ressurrect and never come back. This is Fate. =)

HANDOUTS, bo tio!

Tagboard is down. Apparently, i tried to tamper with the html code fot that, and now its in a comatose state. Must be the Midas touch. Haa.. Anyways, i realised this year's budget is pretty juicy, and PAP is handing out a whopping 2.6 Bil$. There are several tiers, with the highest one tagged at 800 bucks. Happy wx got 900, turned and reminded me that i have zilch. Argh, and i scrolled down the papers. Damn, there wasnt a kid endowment fund for pple aged 0-20 odd. Thats the bad thing about being a mid-eighties outlier. You miss the baby bonus as well as the handouts. Apparently its only applicable for people aged 21 and above from March 1st. And really it isnt anyone's fault that my parents where not at it, say...7 months before. March 1st only includes live-borns, foetuses not included. sigh. =) I bet place my bet of two roasted peanuts that PAP is going to announce the elections real soon. So with the juicy payouts, the happy and contented population will link money to PAP, and vote as their wallets approved. This is called recency effect, under one section of availability heuristic, which is the mental shortcuts people take to make sense of their surroundings, which i am trying to appear smart. Ah. But there's no way that the other fringe parties can match this fat angpow that PAP bestowed to their supporters, with love, signed, sealed delivered. Hmmm..Dr Chee Soon Juan was declared bankrupt because he was sued off his pants by SM Goh and MM Lee. He cant pay the 500k fine slapped unto him for talking too much in such a way that it stepped on PAP's toes. So bankrupt means cannot contest lor. Then there is the worker's party by Mr Low, and the other one by the Potong Pasir Mp, which the name i cant draw to mind now. They don't have the chops of PAP, and besides they have insufficient funds. Anyways, i didn't know that opposition parties where that lacking in the cash, until once they ran a report of the headquarters of these parties. My...one was a ratty-tat of a shophouse front. Even the mama shop near my house looks more ostentatious in comparision. You know, the running rainbow lights. The shophouse is in quite a alarming state. Sigh, so ya lor...why no kids endowment fund, may i ask. Cause from the time i last checked, i should be able to get 400 bucks, and i promise i will channel some back to S'pores AE. Then, it can credit multiply happily. Maybe they are just worried that if they handout money to the young and the reckless, probably they will spend all. Then PAP will have inflation rate increase to worry about. Tsk.. And i suppose i will bet the returns of the two roasted peanuts, top it up to four roasted peanuts, and bet that PAP will have a landslide win. One people, one nation, one party, one Singapore. YAY.

Yellows are motivated by fun. They are inviting and embrace life as a party which they're hosting. They love playful interaction and can be extremely sociable and persuasive. They seek instant gratification. YELLOWS need to be adored and praised. While YELLOWS are carefree, they are quite sensitive and highly alert to others motives to control them. YELLOWS carry within themselves the gift of a good heart. YELLOWS need to look good socially, and friendships command a high priority in their lives. YELLOWS are happy, highly verbal, easily bored, and crave adventure. They can never sit still for long. They choose friends who, like themselves, refuse to allow lifes boring details stifle their curiosity. They embrace each day in the present tense. YELLOWS are charismatic, spontaneous, positive, and can be irresponsible, obnoxious, and forgetful. When you deal with a YELLOW praise and adore them, take a positive, upbeat approach, and promote creative and fun activities for and with them. What Color Are You? brought to you by Hmm..its really pretty accurate..

The entire school schedule pretty much resembles a messy process of rushing project from both left right and centre. I figured that this is good in a way, cause it makes you more productive and it keeps the mind occupied. Vagrant thoughts in the brain always seem to give birth to erratic emotional rants that soon turn into a mild depressy state of mind, then slowly to one of a sad recluse. Which hit me quite sporodic on CNY, chu 2. I spent my day with bak gua dearest, watching those taiwanese dramas that shed tears the way they punctuate their sentences. Actually funnily enough, things arent half as bad as it was supposed. Its half the time more dramatic fluff then substance. Sometimes i do find it pretty interesting to go through this bouts of ups and downs for no peculiar reason. Spruces up the mundane life. Hmm...imagination does wield its wonders in some ways. Warped ways



The vday was spent without much hype, in fact I spent it with a friend, then met another friend for awhile later. Anyways, I showed my friend this silly spot that brought back some childish jc memories. Must have been one of the strangest placest to talk, but usually the strangest places are places that feels most at ease. Well, maybe you got to deal with the mozzies but its ok. You get abit of vertigo by looking directly down. When i reached home, there was a nice surprise awaiting. Actually nothing surprising since it is flowers. But apparently, flowers are part of The Necessary Vday Cliche, in the Hyperbolic form, or so it seems. I didnt get my bouquet of cactus though, just the usual red ones. Darn i would have loved the black ones! Haha, it would be really pretty damn interesting. Its weird enough, and weird things make me sit up and pay attention to the person. Like ants to sweets, in that same form of curious attraction. Never mind if i have to get smacked somewhere later for nosing around. At least, i have a taste of its saccharine sweetness, even if its fake, whatever ok!



Anyways, all those vday jargon and what nots, I have zero idea. So, what does 12 mean? 1 apparently means "you are my one and only". That flimsy excuse is Perfect Reflection of the state of his Manhood. The logic just doesnt Stand. Fullstop. It translates quite blatantly to not bothering to spend an iota of effort to plan or simply too stingy to spend. Ahh, anyways, 12 is a safe bet. Probably means hey you are one helluva girl out of a dozen of my portfolio girlies. Hahah..my guy friend apparently said that guys chase their girls in the same way they manage stocks. According to returns and risk. So in order to minimize risk, they have a porfolio of girlies. Risk is time and money as to returns, which is scoring a date, the girl, or a series of combination of the above. Its funny to hear him say it, but at the same time you are wondering which alphabetical order of girlies A, girlies B,C,D...and the likes, when a guy is being nice.


On a different note, I had a good long chat with my mum today. Nerissa, our new domestic help has been really moody of late. So i asked my mum what explained the blue face. Turns out that Neri's ex-husband is threatening her that he will go and get their son one day, bring him off. It really freaked the living daylights out of Neri, especially since she cant do anything to prevent him from barging in. The best she could manage was to enlist more help from her relatives to ward him off. Coming to a foreign land sure isnt an easy peasy task, and what more she has to leave behind her child to come. Its quite a disparity between what we have here and what they have over there at the Philippines. All belonging to the human race, but no equality under the rays of the Ecnomic Market. I am just thinking, can we even be a claimant to equality rights? Because essentially in order for the society entire to function properly, some people have to fill up the lower stratas of the economic framework. Some luckier in this sense, gets to sit a bit higher up on this ladder. Education, seen as the ticket to this social upward mobility, is not granted to simply anyone who wants it. Some people just have no access to it.



Dad's back from his trip. It was really quite sweet to see the gifts he came back with, for us. As usual, Mum got her estee lauder white linen which she has been stubbornly using for ages =), and a shawl. My Dad got me accessories, some of which are abit over girly for me, but i thanked him still the same, for the effort to go and shop for things that he is totally clueless. And my Bro's pretty ok, settling into his new school. Recently he has gotten into his livewire mode. In the past i used to give him one tight hug, and he will reciprocate, now he just humours me with a half-constipated smile. ahh..



Am pretty darn tired now. Such a rambling on post! But at least we have a week's break from here on. Sure wont mind on the excess on the recess! yeah.

i'm ur venus, i'm ur fire, love desire

Its so peculiar to see the psych prof posting on the psych forum ever-so-frequently. Contents of the post have scant relation to the psych topics. Really quite out of tangent. Take for example, last week's one had the subject topic of, "please do not bring smelly food to class". And it was a ramble on how "chicken rise" (yes, rise), and laksa stinks up the lecture theatre, cause the its aircon, the air gets stuck. You know, the yada yada stuff. Ending with a "please be considerate". This week was a "please be a good team player" and it was targetted at people who did not attend class for no good reason. "Please inform your group mates and the lecturer if you are unable to come to class". Either the person in question is unbelievably honest, or just...I dunno. Apparently i haven heard anyone in concerned informing anyone on the planned missing-in-action. Ahh..that explains why The Love to sign in to ntu webmail, to see what new ramblings we have for the week. The Love of ms Venus' posted, post-lecture grouses. Her name's really Venus. But aint nothing like my Love Desire. tee hee hee.

the cardigans

Argh. Can't emphasize more on a previous post. This is such a bad-joke-gone-bad-stuck-on-the -replay. If i'm asking for trouble, there's no question how the string of consequence will look like. Its too fast, too quick. So not looking for a trough to come upon. Goodness (please be) gracious (to) me. Sort of like my means-end justification.

The cafe quad at the Biological Sciences area (gulp), besides having a ambience-friendly cafe, has also a pretty nice place to lounge. Tucked away at a little corner is this flight of stairs that heads down to a lounge area and an entire stretch of rooms. Wx and i were there to kill some time. The floor area seemed to be quite at odds with each other. One end has warm hues, with the plushy sofas, looks a wee bit arty at specific points. The other end is quite a disparity. It looked almost clinical. I thought the no-flow was strange. But it does have a calming effect, which is quite puzzling, methinks.


While wx was on the phone, i was plugged to the ipod and probably had 15 minutes or so to detox my mind from the ppt slides saturation. Hmmm, looking from the top, i see only the icing on the cake. Maybe that was what i chose to see. Scratch beneath that layer, i arrested my flawed reasoning, and reminded myself that despite all the daydream, one has to come back to Earth.


So, im not off the rockets, spacing to who-knows-where, Apparently, am now multi-tasking with blogger dearest, msn 7.5(haha, finally.) and ppt slides for the brand performance metric that is due for presentation tml, which is 9 hrs from now.


So spaced-lag. boo.

do i care? no i dont

Two negatives give birth to a postive.


So going along this thread of warped logic, I'm pretty perfectly damn postive now. Apparently.


These trivial thoughts, the poultry mindset, will have to go.


Rhetorical randoms as well.



May i add, snub out all the tendencies to wax lyrical about insignificant events.



Methinks how odd-ish it is. I shall get Even (all sense of the word) with these negatives and tease it to a wicked positivity.



Sure i am so not going to let the cookies crumble. Absolutely. Not. Going. To.




Piece of cake.



Need we say more?

Random

Quite surprised that my Dad asked me if i'm free to accompany him overseas to attend a function, cause my mum wasnt free then. Was mildly shocked cause my Dad and i aren't really close. Too bad it clashes with the presentation next week, if not i'll Surely go. Somehow i feel that im missing the chance to send quality time with my Dad. =(

be a muse.

Post CNY was at first dreary. Not that I was helium-high in the first place, but it just serves as a stark reminder of the impending workload thats building ladders all by itself. And its kinda like octopus syndrome now, woo-hoo alot of work, but I have no idea where to start. I had survived a full day without sleep. But flawed logic incited me do the most ridiculous things at the weirdest times. In a desperate bid to refresh myself at 5am in the morning, I thought, and decided that I should jump on the treadmill and run 8k. To wake myself up. I was wide awake after that, but the energy level just plummeted head down. It was real hard to focus, and i concussed in class, my head was almost on my friend's shoulder. Till the extent she smelled out the conditioner I used. Spot on.



The past week has been packed with quite a bit of random events. Quite a lot actually. Sb has a NUS bazaar, come this Monday. So we were trying our hands at all those trinklets stuff. Girly girly kind. I mean super girly. We are not the type to do handicraft, our virgin attempt. Okay fine, our first attempt. We were trying to stick pearls on a notebook. Do some DIY, get the creative arty juices flowing. Sb ended up with having her two fingers glued by superglue. And my butter fingers are as equally hopeless on the swarovski crystals.



Besides, i received a couple of interesting things from my friends. Its precisely those surprises that springs onto you when you least expect it, to the very thing that warms your heart! Sweets maketh my day. A bag of it, its like candyempire to me. Thanks a bunch, my friend. I KNOW you will read this. haha. I won't say your name. So mysterious one!



And i was given a cactus too. Did I mention? Sam gave me one too. Quite sometime back. I was thinking, whats the significance of a cactus. Strength of a relationship that holds on tight despite the odds. But i really suppose no girl would want to receive a bouquet of cactuses of the sorts. Or from a cynical view, the lack of need to bother about the relationship, for anyway somehow or the other, it will survive a lonely exisitence. Quite a mockery i feel.



Anyways, the first cactus that i received, died. I dunked the whole thing in water ala aquarium seaweed style, then proceeded to bake it under the sun. Maybe the word "sprinkle" didn't come across too clearly then. Haha..Yep, and so the relationship also died, cactus-style. And interestingly that was the exact manner the r/s went. Too much love suffocated it, but suddenly ignored it, and the whole thing went bust.



Ah and i think how weird it is when a childhood friendship steers a different course. The entire dynamics changes in a not so positive way. I guess everyone is predisposed to look back and point out...see..that was when I had good wholesome fun with a friend. Some words just totally wrecks the impression. Just let it be the way it was intended and spare the awkwardness. I still prefer to think of it as catching, playful jibes of the sorts. Fullstop.



Hmm, i am happy cause i rest it in His hands, and am very certain that He will have his way for me. So that explains, the blog title. Faith in His deliverance. I honestly do believe so.

happy one

God is indeed kind and nice. He places little surprises at some corners. Despite dragging my feet like a major sulkpot, despite this, surprises i see at hidden corners. Just as i was too pissed off with things, He restores me! How great is that.


And for that i cant stop my half-assed grin. Grinning to blogger dearest.


Grin grin grin.


No more the witch from the south.


Thanks God!

Above all

Thank you Lord, for letting me in on something new today. I thank You greatly for that. Every step brings me one step closer to you. Please oh Lord, unknot the tangled mess within me. For only You Lord, know what its best. Everything, I rest in your hands. Create in me a clean heart Makes me appreciate more acutely, at this very point.. What it means that everything that can be seen, is all but skin deep. Oh Lord, please let me see deep within, Smiles are easy, physically As a matter of fact, a twitch of muscles is all that it takes to laugh Plastered smiles i want not. Dear Lord, i want a genuine smile from the inside. In Your name, i trust.

psych-edelic

Every friday is psych day. But psyched up, I was not.


The group which consisted of four engine peeps, and one business person, decided on the topic for final project. It was tough ploughing through the readings and dealing with all the psych jargon. I took a double when I heard our group's topic. It says "perception of beauty". That wasnt what got me. Scroll down the topic sentence, and apparently we have to discuss about the change in the Bodyform Ideal that evolved from the forties. Okay, so this was the socio-cultural aspect. No biggie. Then it says, "psych: ED". The warped body perception of a person suffering from ED. With a list of ED's that read: anorexia, compulsive eating, bulimia. I was dumbfounded for a second. The Prof came over to go through our topic with us. She flipped through the text and pointed at several points that we had to take note. As her finger brushed across that fitful word. I felt almost invaded. Some things should be left in the past, thrown into the grave, burried, stamped on hard, extinguished. I don't wish to remember, much less discuss the psych of it. Of all topics, this. For pete's sake!


On a lighter note, I commited a itsy bitsy teenie weenie social faux pas, by having a happy dig at the engine peeps. But you see, you shouldnt do that if 70% of your uni cohort is formed up of an assortment of engine specialists, and your project group has 80% of the engine peeps. And i happen to be the lonely 20%. So i gave a sheepish grin, and ha-ha-ha my way through. But i'm sure they have heard that before right? Cause it seems like coffee table talk to the business peeps. geeee!


Boy, do we mind our own business.

ingratitude

A step back is what is needed to see the blessings for He has bestowed. More often than not, its always the case of bemoaning why events didnt go in perfect order as wished. Wondering why in the world God has not responded to prayers, why so long a wait. In the dark of this impatience, failed to see the other blessings God has slipped from under the corner of the door. So subtly, it goes unnoticed. Maybe unnoticed because so much has been given and it almost desensitises. All this while, tapping the foot impatiently. And when it comes, the blessing is quickly accepted with glee. Thinking that it was due inate capabilities, or some strange stroke of luck. All reasons except that it was God given. Much less to be said about pausing to give thanks. How great is the love of God. It is beyond my comprehension.

No time for sap

Sb cracks me up, bigtime! I cannot believe how this girl works things out for me before it even crossed my mind. Gee. It's been quite a ride really. From the days where we climbed the roofs of the chalets at Pasir Ris (before getting blasted by the security guard 2 seconds later), to the days we were so adament to dye our hair just to get a smidge of red on it, just for the sake of it, and to the days where we kept each other in the radar of cute little sec two boys, and the days where we ran to Pandan reservoir to scream our asses off in mock sadness because we got a fat F9 for history. For all this. I am real glad at where our friendship is at now. She's a new christian, and our friendship is indeed strengthened through Christ. Argh, I cant get into the sap mood and wax lyrical about this. Well, at least not now. My project mate is rushing me on msn! Hah...